Thinly Veiled Metaphor for, well, something...
Subway Sandwiches
I don’t like Subway sandwiches. There’s another smaller chain called Port of Subs and their subs are awesome. I had a special attachment to Port of Subs when I was in high school. I don’t know what makes their subs better, they just are and Subway will never compare. Here’s the screwed up part: I still eat at Subway. If I’m always disappointed when I go to Subway, it’s only logical that I stop going to Subway. It’s logical but is it what I really want? What if I’m emotionally attached to Subway? What if the Subway is really cute and makes me laugh? Okay, that’s not why I keep going to Subway. I go to Subway when I’m really hungry and it’s the closest/easiest food place around. That’s awful. It’s not fair to Subway to keep going and paying for disappointing sandwiches. Subway might get the wrong idea, it might think I really like it. What if Subway gets attached and develops feelings for me? I’m awful for teasing Subway like I do. No, wait, it’s Subway that teasing me! It knows its sandwiches are crap. Yet it still calls me in, promising a healthy and delicious lunch then it charges me $4.98 for their crap sandwiches. Well, fuck you Subway! I’m tired of disappointment, I won’t see you anymore you deceptive son of a bitch. That’s right never again! (unless I’m shopping at Mervyns and I’ve skipped lunch again.)
I don’t like Subway sandwiches. There’s another smaller chain called Port of Subs and their subs are awesome. I had a special attachment to Port of Subs when I was in high school. I don’t know what makes their subs better, they just are and Subway will never compare. Here’s the screwed up part: I still eat at Subway. If I’m always disappointed when I go to Subway, it’s only logical that I stop going to Subway. It’s logical but is it what I really want? What if I’m emotionally attached to Subway? What if the Subway is really cute and makes me laugh? Okay, that’s not why I keep going to Subway. I go to Subway when I’m really hungry and it’s the closest/easiest food place around. That’s awful. It’s not fair to Subway to keep going and paying for disappointing sandwiches. Subway might get the wrong idea, it might think I really like it. What if Subway gets attached and develops feelings for me? I’m awful for teasing Subway like I do. No, wait, it’s Subway that teasing me! It knows its sandwiches are crap. Yet it still calls me in, promising a healthy and delicious lunch then it charges me $4.98 for their crap sandwiches. Well, fuck you Subway! I’m tired of disappointment, I won’t see you anymore you deceptive son of a bitch. That’s right never again! (unless I’m shopping at Mervyns and I’ve skipped lunch again.)
posted by Mama Shea | 14:40
2 Comments:
Well have you tried getting the oil and vinegar on your sammy loaded with onions? It’s not too bad then. And I know it’s nice to think that Subway is getting attached to you, but let me tell you from experience…Subway is a player. Riff-raff Shea, it’s not worth it. Have you tried Arby’s? Their sandwiches are big, supple, and fresh. Plus they have curly fries….mmmm. Or just get a Slurpie. Slurpies are good too.
Stoner cousin out.
P.S. I am putting this on a T-Shirt “Fuck you Subway” on the front and on the back: “you deceptive son-of-a-bitch.”
Well have you tried getting the oil and vinegar on your sammy loaded with onions? It’s not too bad then. And I know it’s nice to think that Subway is getting attached to you, but let me tell you from experience…Subway is a player. Riff-raff Shea, it’s not worth it. Have you tried Arby’s? Their sandwiches are big, supple, and fresh. Plus they have curly fries….mmmm. Or just get a Slurpie. Slurpies are good too.
Stoner cousin out.
P.S. I am putting this on a T-Shirt “Fuck you Subway” on the front and on the back: “you deceptive son-of-a-bitch.”
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